BROTHER KEVIN REVISITED

If you’re not familiar with the Brother Kevin case, he was outed on this site by numerous Old Boys in the last five years or more as an Abuser. It then transpired that he had been driven out of his village by local youths because he was seen there as an Abuser.

He is now suffering from dementia and is ending or has ended his days in a home in Ipswich.

All this has some relevance to my interest in Kearney, my old chemistry teacher.

First, let me show you some relevant comments about Kevin that I think are extremely important, otherwise I wouldn’t be publishing and republishing them.

ONE. I received this comment this morning from an Old Boy. Many thanks! I don’t think it requires any further comment from me.

There was a creepy old woman by the name of Ashton, with an even creepier character. Why she was employed as a school matron, I have no idea. It was always such an arduous chore if any of the kids got ill. She would often join Kevin in the boys shower block and strangely watch us all having a shower. Did she know what Kevin was up to after lights out, I couldn’t honestly say, but she certainly wasn’t playing with a full deck I was abused at the hands of Kevin and believe it is not possible to leave it in the past and forget. I went on to have a very long and successful career in the Royal Marines, and seen many horrors in the world. Discussing my abuse helps me as a survivor, deal with it and ‘move on’. It is certainly something one can never forget

TWO. This comment came from a lady back in 2017, presumably before Brother Kevin was forced to leave his village.

I’ve checked her email address and Angela is indeed Angela Ashton.

 Angela commented on IN THE LA SALLIAN TRADITION 3 I wanted to write a new post in response to further comments on my About page from St Joseph’s old boys Nick and NW1 – … Another pupil of Br. Kevin contacted me about your comments. We were both appalled to read them. I was in charge of the boarding in the 80’s at Oakhill with Kevin and am in touch with people of that time. My son had been a boarder before my time. The boarders were a very happy bunch on the whole and Kevin very popular and we can honestly say completely trusted . I saw him constantly with the boys and everyone was completely relaxed round him. We are absolutely convinced nothing of the above mentioned went on. As my son and his friends and other pupils say, Kevin was the very last brother they would suspect. At the end of the holidays the boys from unhappy homes would run up to him as they were so thrilled to be back to what they felt was safety and it was. The years I had there with the boarding were very happy. I stayed some nights if anyone was unhappy and if I wasn’t there Kevin was there for them and if I’d suspected anything with having 3 boys myself I’d have gone straight to the top. My son tells me he was homesick the first night of the term and would go to Kevin’s room but then gave that up as the other boarding master had better comics! Kevin didn’t know me then. He came out of the Order and settled locally and is a very popular figure in the community. My twin grandchildren would call on him after school, other children in the street would run up to him. Nobody had any worries.when he left Oakhill, before me, he had the largest number of presents and letters I’ve seen. When the police questioned him many of his old boys wrote to the police to support him as they were horrified and some are still in touch with him and visit him, some from way back.The solicitor you refer to was not organised by Kevin but by friends. I don’t know who. The school dentist visited the school professionally and socially and knew Kevin as well or better than me and he still talks about the happy place. I know these phaedophiles can hide their ways and are clever but none of us believe Kevin is one and I can’t obviously comment on the past but it is all so far from the Kevin we all know. Surely if you are a paedophile you just don’t stop? 
  
  

THREE. At the time, I wrote back to Angela in some detail and pointed out:

It’s often hard for survivors to come forward and share what happened because they feel they won’t be believed. Sometimes we doubt our own memories because they don’t square with the public persona that abusers have. And all too often they are supported by respectable members of the community or by other boys who weren’t assaulted.

But we only have to look elsewhere in the media to see how that can be quite fake.

I don’t pretend to be an expert, but as a survivor of another DLS abuser, Brother James, and clerical abusers, I can certainly say abusers are very good at covering their tracks or ensuring their victims remain silent. And  the reaction of others is invariably disbelief until enough people come forward and confirm it happened to them, too.

I’d have thought three survivors accounts, independent of each other, was sufficient to make the case and for this matter to be taken seriously

                           ……………………

Angela didn’t reply to me.

Regarding Angela’s agenda, in the light of the first comment, once again I don’t think it requires any further comment from me.

We can all draw our own conclusions.

But I think both needed highlighting and are extremely relevant to us Survivors today.

They show just what we are all up against.

I personally need to understand how easily Abuse can be covered up and I think it is shown very clearly here.

The whole matter of Brother Kevin is now proved and closed because of his dementia. It’s a great pity because I know NW1, several Old Boys like the first commentator above, and another survivor in LA rightly wanted justice for Kevin’s crimes against them.

They should have had their day in court and I’m sorry they didn’t.

(Needless to say, everyone’s email above remains private and confidential and I won’t pass on to anyone.)

                                    …………………..

The personal relevance for me is that a similar process may now be taking place where Kearney is concerned.

A while back, one lady wrote to me and asked where my research and evidence was going regarding Kearney.

Now another lady, an Old Girl of St J’s, has asked me the same thing and  seems to want to know more, too.

Both women said how Kearney was ‘strict but fair’ and a good guy, which is not my experience of him.

Or indeed the experience of many Old Boys, one of whom said he was ‘terrified’ of him.

Clearly Angela above had her own personal agenda in defending Brother Kevin.

This has made me wonder whether the two women wanting to know about my research into Kearney have their own personal agenda – e.g. are they connected with Kearney or his family in some way.

As I’ve explained to them both, I’m happy to be as transparent as I possibly can.

Revealing the Truth is the full extent of my own personal agenda.

Until then, I can’t, as the Old Girl suggested: ‘Get on with my life’.

The Truth has to come out first, I’m afraid.

But if they have any questions I’ll happily enter into a dialogue with them and tell them something of my truly grim experiences of Kearney privately.

Do ask away, ladies. I promise you I will treat your questions with respect. And, if you knew Kearney well, perhaps you can answer some of my questions.

There may well be details I’ve got wrong that you could correct.

I’m genuinely sorry if it’s unpleasant and upsetting for you, but I’m sure we all, ultimately, want the same thing: the Truth.

Not a cover-up.

And do please consider – why would I waste my time laboriously writing about Kearney for these past few months and more unless it was true?  

What other possible motive could I have after all these decades?

So here’s where I’m currently at:

I have a very comprehensive account of my experiences at the hands of Kearney.  And I think I’ve got the whole thing down on paper now, although there may be one or two details I’ve missed or I may have the exact order of events wrong.

Some of it is quite shocking.

That’s why I’m waiting for someone else to reveal other aspects of Kearney, apart from his extreme violence (punching a 13 year old in the face), and his racism, both of which are now a matter of record.

I’m trying hard not to be too mysterious here. So here’s the kind of thing I’m looking for – his possible use of chemicals outside the lab, for instance.

Because I don’t think it’s right to put up such a shocking account without some independent corroboration of at least some elements of my story.

My word is not enough, I feel. Look at the Cardinal Pell case and how he got off on appeal because it was just one person’s word for what Pell had done.

It’s why I waited years in the case of Brother James and the Knights of Columba and what they did to me until others had ‘spilled the beans’ first.  Then- and only then – did I tell my story.

For those Survivors’ courage in coming forward, I thank them from the bottom of my heart.

Based on these previous testimonies, it could take a few months, even a year, before an Old Boy comes forward with his recollections of Kearney. Meanwhile, there are other avenues I’m also pursuing regarding my old chemistry teacher.

It all takes time, so do be patient, ladies.

KNIGHTS OF ST COLUMBA – THE SECRET RITUALS

The Knights of Columbus KOC  came first  (American)…. Then the Knights of St Columba KOSC (UK)… and the Knights of  St  Columbanus  KOSCL (Ireland)

All three have or had similar rituals. 

Detailed below are some of the KOC rituals. The KOSC would have been similar, but with American elements changed, like the secret serviceman.  I would assume they had a different role-playing character, maybe a police officer.

I haven’t included the preliminary material because it’s not directly relevant except for background.

Sorry if it’s a bit of a pain to read below but you’ll get the idea.

If you find it of interest, the FULL transcript is here.

 Full text of “Knights of Columbus: A complete ritual and history of the first three degrees, including all secret “work.” By a former member of the order.”

https://archive.org/stream/knightscolumbus/knightscolumbus_djvu.txt

I also have a KOSCL ritual which bears out the premise that these Knights are all drawing on each other. So it can’t be dismissed as ‘weird Americans’, much as I would love it to be!

The similarities between the three organizations is comprehensive. It’s far more than just the names.

Bear in mind the Knights are ‘covering themselves’ in this transcript by not doing anything actually illegal. Although it’s borderline. Even so, they are clearly messing with a candidate’s head.

Here’s this quote from the ritual

‘Break the spirit of all, if possible’,

Their skill at doing this has serious implications, particularly for grooming children.

And it is a VERY unhealthy ritual that warrants detailed analysis by someone better qualified than myself.

To me, it’s just sick games by arrogant rich Catholic businessmen and a precursor to other far worse rituals that, understandably, have never been written down.

Note the masks and robes. And the organ playing. It’s like something out of Eyes Wide Shut.  But the Ipswich KOSC  were after children. Imagine the effect on kids of even an adapted form of this nonsense. They were scary, truly evil bastards! I still find it hard to understand how I and others survived.  I guess kids have survived a lot worse.

One St J’s Old Boy has presented a strong case and evidence to me that the KOSC actually go back much earlier than their supposed origins date and I’d say he was probably right.

Some points I would add.

A similar ritual to this would have been used across Britain, linked to Catholic churches and to the Knights at least up to the mid-60s.

It’s obviously Masonic. According to Wikipedia the KOSC stopped these Masonic rituals when they modernized in the late 60s. I’m pretty certain I saw the masks and robes etc, but I very much doubt that I would have witnessed these exact rituals. These are for new members and I don’t think I was even considered as a Squire who would have had their own initiation rituals.   

Why wasn’t I a Squire?

 Because I was just another victim of their organization hunting for children in St Marks, Chantry Estate.  Currently I’ve counted up one Catholic girl (see the Darkest Knights) and six Catholic boys including myself who were ‘harvested’ by the Ipswich Knights of St Columba for paedophilia purposes on our council estate in the early 1960s.

I firmly believe that I and the other children on the Council Estate were seen as nothing more than ‘trailer trash’ to be used and abused.

That’s how these vile people saw the poor who they were supposedly helping with their charitable work.

Just like their fellow Knight of St Columba Savile who did so much for charity.

So there was no reason to make me a Squire.

I’m sure that was the primary purpose of the Knights’ presence, lurking at the back of the church – to check the children out and see who they could target next. When they were old enough. One or two children would clearly not be enough for them.  My figures are probably on the low side. The use of the large building on the border of of the council estate I’ve previously described – what I used to call the ‘Gingerbread House’ – would suggest this was quite a big operation.

I find this deeply upsetting and this post is dedicated to those children and their memory.

I hope they survived the disgusting and arrogant crimes of the Knights of St Columba.

If you are one of them and you’re reading this, do get in touch. I guarantee your anonymity. Or do tell someone in authority who may be able to help or advise you further. It was a long time ago, but I know just how triggering it can be. These scum still need exposing, despite the passage of time. The truth sets us free.

Finally:

Please don’t forget the Ipswich KOSC were intimately connected with St Joseph’s College, Ipswich, from its very conception, see earlier posts, which raises another whole raft of questions that need answering.

Someone, today, should answer for the crimes of their forefathers on whose traditions and organizations they have built and prospered.

Don’t either of these organizations today have anyone in them who has a conscience?

 It would seem not.

The secrecy – and the vows of silence – described in detail in these rituals continues to this day.

THIRD DEGREE — PREPARATION.

THE TEAM.

The personnel of the team which gives

this degree is as follows :

A Captain of the Guard in command

of the team.

A Decoy Priest. He wears the ordin

ary street dress of the priest, with Roman

collar and rabbi.

A Secret Service man incognito.

Enough initiated members to scatter

through the candidates and urge them to

action.

HOW ROBED.

Several robed assistants. The robe is

made of any black cloth, fitted with a

peaked cowl like a monk’s habit.

Several doctors attired as for the

operating room.

THE MEMBERS.

All members will wear black robes,

entirely covering their regular habit, and

will be masked.

The Grand Knight will appear as usual

his ribbon of office his only adornment.

In the center of the Council Chamber

will be a table with surgical instruments

and bandages.

A small room leading from the Cham-

ber will be made as warm as possible.

This room is known as the Hot Box or

the H. B.

When all is in readiness, the Grand

Knight will direct the Captain of the

Guard to send his men to their work.

The assistants go to the ante-room,

where the candidates are gathered.

Their work is to stir up the candidates

to anger if possible, using the decoy priest

as a last recourse.

THIRD DEGREE — FIRST SECTION

Line up the candidates in such a surly

manner that they will take offense and re-

fuse to go into line.

The line-up may be made according to

seniority or in any fashion the team may

judge efficient.

Often an old priest, if any priests are

to be initiated, may be called to head the

line. The assistants may try to confuse

and anger him by mispronouncing his

name or calling attention to his position.

Generally, it is not wise to push the priest

too-far. Laymen are better subjects, and

the dignity of the priesthood must be

preserved.

The best method to obtain results is

to treat the candidates as though they

were a crowd of school-boys, who needed

a severe censure for every move made. If

a candidate does not obey any order given

to him, such as to stand for a certain posi-

tion behind his fellow in line, to look

straight ahead, etc., it is good to send him

to the rear and hint that he may not be

allowed to go on.

Break the spirit of all, if possible, and

make all obey timidly the smallest com-

mand of the team members.

If the candidates rebel and refuse to go

on, the Captain of the Guard will be

called. He will enter, wearing any seem-

ingly disreputable robe, such as a bath

robe, which has been soaked in whiskey,

and giving the candidates the impression

that he is drunk. The decoy members

will artfully stimulate this suggestion.

The Captain of the Guard will brutally

inquire the cause of the trouble and when

he has listened to the charges of the can-

didates and the answers of his assistants,

he will deliver his judgment.

This is left to his ingenuity and histri-

onic skill. He will invite the candidates

As a last recourse to stir up the candi-

dates, the decoy priest will leave the line

and walk away.

The Captain of the Guard will angrily

question him :

“Why are you leaving your place?”

D. P. “I am sick. I want a glass of

water.”

C. G. “Go back to your place. No

one may leave his place for any considera-

tion.”

D. P. “But I am sick and I must have

a glass of water or I shall faint.”

C. G. “Faint then.”

He orders his assistants to take the de-

coy priest back by force if necessary.

Meanwhile, the Secret Service man

slips away and comes back with a glass

of water, which he hands to the decoy

priest. As the decoy priest takes it, the

Captain of the Guards leaps forward,

angrily, and knocks the glass from his

hand.

f the candidates have not yet gone be-

yond control, this always stirs them to

fury, and they break ranks in angry con-

fusion, struggling and shouting against

the insult to the priest.

The decoy members of the team skill-

fully urge the stronger-willed candidates

to shout defiance against the Captain of

the Guard and his assistants.

They suggest that he is drunk and that

it is an outrage — it is an insult to the

priesthood.

Many refuse to go on, and threaten to

break down the door and leave for good,

if they are not released. Some try to

catch the Captain of the Guard, but are

skillfully kept away by the decoys.

The candidates are to be aroused to the

last extreme of fury, but are to be handled

so that they cannot do anything.

He will see that the man is punished if

he is guilty. If they will be patient and

allow the work to go on, the case will be

taken care of in due time.

Then he goes back into the Council

Chamber. The decoy priest helps to calm

the candidates, by excusing the Captain

of the Guard on account of his condition.

He is not so much to be blamed because

he is drunk. Gradually the candidates

are calmed and go back into line.

THIRD DEGREE — SECOND SECTION.

They are all blindfolded. They put

their hands on shoulders. The guards

give the signal, the doors are opened, and

the candidates march into the Council

Chamber. The organ is playing. They

are marched around the room several

times and halted in a hollow square fac-

ing the center. The blinds arc removed.

The doctors are seated around the table

covered with surgical instruments and

writing paper. The Grand Knight sits

near the table.

The members of the Order, all covered

with black robes, stand behind the candi-

dates.

The chief surgeon stands up and calls

several of the candidates and decoys. The

guards lead them to the table.

Chief Surgeon — Before you may go

further, you must show that you are

worthy. You must submit to a test of

your strength that will satisfy the Order

that you are in earnest.

He calls on one of the decoys to take

the first test.

Chief Surgeon — I have here a copy of

the pledge which you must take to this

Order. I have also a dagger (picking up

from the table a dagger) . You will take

this dagger, bare your arm, prick your

veins and sign this pledge with your own

blood. Are you willing to take the test?

Decoy feigns reluctance, and plays that

he is afraid to take the test.

Chief Surgeon — You must take the test

or you cannot go on. Are you afraid of

a little blood? There are doctors here

who will see that you do not injure your-

self. Do you call yourself a man — afraid

of pricking a little vein?

Decoy — I cannot take such a pledge;

you have no right to ask it.

THIRD DEGREE— THIRD SECTION.

The organ plays, and the guards lead

the candidates to the Hot Box. When

they are all in, the door is fastened, and

masked guards are stationed inside and

outside of the door.

The Hot Box must be small enough to

make it difficult to move about easily

without jostling. The Captain of the

Guard is found inside and mingles with

the candidates. He is as surly as he was

in the ante-room, and the candidates feel

their anger rising against him.

The decoy priest soon complains of the

heat and asks to be let outside. The Cap-

tain of the Guard refuses to let him go.

They quarrel, and the decoy priest says

he is going to go out whether the Captain

of the Guard likes it or not.

The guards and decoys keep between

the decoy priest, the Captain and the can-

69

dictates. As the decoy priest starts to push

the Captain aside, the Captain slaps him

over the mouth.

The decoy priest reels from the blow

and blood seems to flow from his mouth.

He has had some red gum in his mouth,

which gives his sputum the appearance

of blood.

At once there is an uproar. Some of

the decoys shout to be let out, others

pound upon the door, and the candidates

are roused to fury, and try to reach the

Captain of the Guard. The inside and

outside guards and decoys must protect

him and see that the door is opened be-

fore it is broken down.

Then all rush out into the Council

Chamber, shouting and gesticulating.

They rush to the table, where the Grand

Knight and the doctors are sitting.

THIRD DEGREE — FOURTH SECTION.

If necessary, a decoy starts the part.

He stands on a chair and bitterly de-

nounces the whole procedure. They came

as gentlemen, as Catholics, to enter an

Order that has been approved by the

Church, and they are subjected to the in-

dignities of drunken brutes. Even the

sacred character of the priest himself is

not respected. God’s holy anointed is

brutally insulted and even struck by a

drunken wretch.

He demands that the Captain of the

Guard be summarily punished and

thrown out of the meeting and the Order,

and that the real work of the Order be

taken up.

As many as wish may make speeches.

The most hotheaded and devout generally

make the best talks. Some of the priests

make especially eloquent pleas against the

whole procedure, and many of the lay-

men are discovered to be eloquent plead-

ers, who never before had dared to speak

in public.

When all have finished, the Grand

Knight stands upon the chair and begs

them to be patient. He deprecates the

unfortunate occurrence. The man will

be tried at once. Seven men will be

picked from their number as a jury. The

charges will be made in due order, and

the verdict of the jury will be received as

final. Are they willing to abide by such

a procedure?

They answer yes.

The candidates are then told to sit

down in the chairs around the wall and

the jury is selected.

The secret service man is one of the

jurors.

The seven are called to the middle of

the chamber and lined up before the

table. Grand Knight — Gentlemen, you must

give up all your valuables, and have your

pockets entirely empty so that you may

hand nothing to one another during the

trial.

I must ask the Captain of the Guard to

go among you and receive all that you

have on your person.

The Captain, amidst wild glares and

murmurs, begins to take the things that

the jurors hand over to him. Some gen-

erally are very angry at him and show it

by their manner; some do not care to

hand him anything.

The secret service man, especially,

shows resentment, and at first refuses to

give up anything. He objects to the pro-

cedure. One of the guards comes up to

him and runs his hands over his clothes.

He resists, and the guard calls out that

he has a revolver in his pocket.

The Grand Knight asks him if it is

true that he has a concealed weapon. He

says that it is true. He is a secret service

man and always carries a revolver.

75

The Grand Knight — You must give

it up.

Secret Service Man — I will not give it

up. 1 am under orders to carry it and

never to allow it to pass from my posses-

sion.

The Grand Knight — Captain of the

Guard, you will see that this gentleman

gives up his weapon.

The Captain steps up to the secret serv-

ice man and asks him for the weapon.

Secret Service Man — You dirty brute,

I would not give it to you in any case.

The Captain catches hold of him and

76

tries to drag the gun from his pocket.

They struggle, and the guards close

around them.

Suddenly the revolver comes out in the

secret service man’s hand. Captain

catches the hand and pulls it down, and

then there is a flash and the sharp report

of the weapon. The Captain reels back-

ward, and blood pours out over his chest.

He falls into the arms of the guards.

77

The Captain of the Guard has a rubber

bag full of red fluid under his robe. This

is pierced by a knife just before the shot,

and gives the delusion of blood flowing

from his breast.

Confusion reigns in the chamber. The

priests rush to give the man absolution,

some of the guards hurry away the secret

service man, and the wounded Captain is

carried out into the ante-room and the

crowd is closed in the chamber.

Experience has shown that the body of

the candidates is always in a strange con-

dition of mind during this period of wait-

ing. The members go about and whisper

of the terrible accident, and hint of the

scandal if the newspapers find out about

the affair. If the secret service man dies,

it will be the end of the Knights of Co-

lumbus.

The dramatic climax is worked up nat-

urally until all the candidates are con-

sumed with anxiety to know the worst.

After ten or fifteen minutes the door of

the ante-room is opened, and the Grand

79

Knight walks into the chamber, followed

by the doctors, the secret service man, and

a well-dressed, clean looking man, whom

all recognize as the Captain of the Guard,

and the decoy priest.

The Grand Knight takes the middle of

the floor, with the others around him, and

begins to speak:

Grand Knight — Gentlemen and Broth-

ers : When I have given the solution of

the strange adventures which you have

gone through this day, you will learn the

most telling lesson ever devised to teach

you that things are not always what they

seem.

He turns to the decoy priest, and pulls

off his collar and rabbi, saying:

Grand Knight — Our good friend and

brother here is not a priest at all. He

bore all the outward marks, but the inner

seal of the sacrament of Orders has never

been imprinted upon his soul. He was

playing a part, and that he played it well,

I know. For I can see upon the faces of

all of you, the expression of relief which

comes to those who awake from a terrible

dream and find that it was only a dream.

And this good brother (turning to the

secret service man and taking him by the

hand) is not a desperate criminal, with

the blood of his fellow upon his head.

Our old friend, the Captain of the Guard,

stands here beaming upon us. A short

time past, you wished almost to tear him

to pieces. You thought him a brute; you

believed him a sacrilegious wretch who

dared to raise his hand against the Lord’s

anointed. It was a delusion. The good

Captain and the good pseudo-father had

conspired together to deceive you. See

how they love each other! (The two

shake hands heartily.)

Brothers, take this lesson to heart, and

bear it with you in all your activities of

life. Judge not by appearances. Things

may not be what they seem. Suspend your

judgment until there can be no mistake.

Then act. Remember this lesson. Cherish

it in your hearts.

You have seen that men are led. Un-

der certain conditions men will do things

that they never would do if they were

alone or stopped to realize what their acts

may lead to.

We asked you to take this dagger and

let your own blood and write with your

own blood your acceptance of our Order.

We had no right to ask you to do such a

thing. If you had insisted upon taking

the pledge, you would have discovered

that this dagger is a trick also. You could

not have hurt yourselves. It is filled with

red fluid, and when you pushed it against

your arm, the red fluid would have flowed

out and looked like blood (demonstrates

with dagger). But it would have been

wrong in intention anyway. If it had

been a real dagger, some zealous brother

would be sure to cut himself badly.

Learn the lesson of your rights as an

individual. You are responsible before

your conscience to God alone. No one

has any right to ask you to do an act which

is evil, no matter for what purpose. Re-

member this lesson.

n dramatic form for you on this occasion.

You were many. The guards were few.

Yet they were able to control you from

the ante-room to the climax you have just

witnessed. Why? They were an organ-

ized unit and knew what they were doing.

You were unorganized and did not know

what to do. If at any moment, one or

two of you had taken the lead and had

gathered the forces of your body about

you, you would have controlled and

beaten the guards. Without leaders you

were simply a mob, expending a great

deal of energy, but accomplishing noth-

ing.

Extend this lesson to your daily life.

Study and work to be leaders of men.

The world is sick because there are not

enough in the active life of today who

can visualize the meaning of life for man-

kind. As Knights of Columbus, you must

be leaders. You are sons of the old

Mother Church, who is the divinely ap-

pointed mother of men.

Study her; learn her ideals, her God-

given means of saving the world, and as

laymen be missionaries in every walk of

life. We must assist our clergy in their

laborious work of saving souls. They are

our spiritual guides and leaders. We

must become leaders of the world, under

their direction, and bring to this sad earth

the kingdom of God and the brotherhood

of man. All must be united in one grand,

glorious band of humanity under the one

mother church.

” ‘I now solemnly pledge myself to

keep sacred the secrets of this Order; to

be a loyal and true son of the Church, and

a faithful member of the Knights of Co-

lumbus. I will always be ruled by

knightly courtesy in my relations with

my fellow men. I pledge myself to God,

to His Holy Church, to my country, to

mankind, to be always a true Knight.

Amen.’

“It is well, brothers. I shall now de-

clare this Council adjourned.”

The secret work is made a part of the

regular council meeting for the benefit of

new members, usually at the first meeting

following the initiation.

It is generally demonstrated by the

Grand Knight, under the head of New

Business.

The new members are led by the Cap-

tain of the Guard to the Grand Knight’s

chair.

The Grand Knight addresses them:

“Brothers, as duly accredited members

of the Knights of Columbus, it is your

right and your duty to become acquainted

with the secret work of the Order.

“The password is important. It ad-

mits you to the Council Chamber. It

must be kept a secret from all outsiders.

89

“The word is changed once a year. For

the present year it is: (One password

was ‘Knights of Columbus shall rule/)

“When you come to a council meeting,

attract the attention of the Outside Guard.

Whisper in his ear the first half of the

password. He will admit you into the

ante-room. Rap upon the entrance of the

Council Chamber. The Inside Guard

will open the wicket and you will whisper

into his ear the last half of the password.

He will then admit you to the Council

Chamber. You will walk to the center

of the chamber and salute the Captain of

the Guard with the usual military salute.

When he returns the salute, you may take

your place among the members of the

council.

“The Grip : The grip is given by shak-

ing hands in the ordinary way, and giv-

90

ing two distinct pressures with all the fin-

gers. This is answered by one sharp pres-

sure. The question which goes with the

grip is, What council do you belong to?’

“If any brother is in distress or needs

aid to accomplish any work, generally in

a crowd, he will call out, ‘Are there any

good men here?’ If there are any Knights

of Columbus present, they will answer,

{ Yes I 1 and come to his assistance.

“The training in the Third Degree will

make it easy for a few to accomplish won-

ders even in a large crowd.

“Brothers, you are now duly accredited

members of the Knight? of Columbus.

You are initiated into the secvets of the

Order. You may come in and go out as

children of one family. I charge you to

be faithful to the Order; true to your

pledge. Never reveal our secrets to out-

siders.

“As Catholics you have all the sanc-

tions of the Church to keep you faithful.

We have the approval and blessing of the

91

Church. The Pope himself, our Most

Holy Father, has given us his Apostolic

benediction. If then — which may God

forbid! — anyone is tempted to reveal our

secrets, let him think well before he acts.

Such a one would surely incur the curse

of God. His name would become a by-

word and a reproach among all honorable

men. He would be shunned and cursed

by all his former fellows, the conscience

of a guilty wretch who has sold his soul,

would sooner or later come home to him,

to chastise him day and night until he

made his peace with God and did true

penance for his crime.

“It is impossible to imagine a brother

who could be guilty of such an act. He

must first become a renegade and an un-

believer, and join himself to the forces of

the devil, who prowls about the world

seeking whom he may devour.

“He deserves the reception which the

devil himself received from God — to be

cast into eternal torture. Only the Infi-

nite Mercy of God can save him from

such a fate. Think well, then, brothers,

THE IMPORTANCE OF FIGHTING BACK

The recent newspaper article about an abuse victim killing a 92 year old clerical abuser by shoving a crucifix down his throat made me reflect on the various ways Survivors fight back.

Sadly, fear and violence, horrible as this example is, is all these clerical abusers seem to understand. I wish it were otherwise, but in an age of endless cover-ups, when the current head of the Catholic Church – Pope Francis – is provably guilty of deliberately lying to cover up abuse – it’s inevitable.

See the final section of a French TV documentary (In English) Sex Abuse in the Church:  Code of Silence.

It’s well worth seeing because when the Pope is caught lying (Over the Grassi scandal), the guilt is clearly written all over his face. He’s caught red-handed and papal apologists will have to tie themselves into knots to excuse his reaction. Even Bill Donahue would have difficulty. I guess he’d just bluster and shout at the camera as he usually does.

But with a long line of Popes like Francis in charge, it sends a message to these perverts that what they’re doing is okay, and is tolerated and IMO, for which I have some evidence, is actually encouraged by the clerics at the top. Such priests are not abusing their vocation, as critics or defenders usually claim, because it’s actually part of their vocation.  I believe it’s always been part of the Church’s belief system. It’s actually no different to PIE (Paedophile Information Exchange) attempting to legitimise its crimes against children, and with a similar evil, if pseudo-spiritual, logic.

It’s never been one rotten apple in the barrel. When I was growing up, all the apples in the barrel were rotten and I very much doubt my parish was unusual. That’s when you start to realise the Church is actually like PIE; it’s hardwired into the religion itself. It’s something the media dare not say, because it’s thinking the unthinkable, but it seems blindingly obvious to me.

My own experience involved three parish priests based in Ipswich in the 1950s era, all three paedophiles: Canon Burrows, Father Wace, and Father Jolly – chaplain to St Joseph’s College.

So I thought I’d share three examples of fighting back against clerical abusers and how valuable it was for me personally. Even if I didn’t always win.

The one thing all three priests had in common was that they were English upper class, the product of Catholic public schools, and two of them, at least, were Knights of St Columba. (Canon Burrows and Father Jolly). I believe that their elite English Catholic background gave them a Droit du Seigneur and a pseudo-spiritual rationale for their crimes. 

For the sake of brevity, I’m just going to focus here on the fighting back, although I have extensive notes on all three individuals. I even hired a private detective to gather information on one of them. A useful and positive step, by the way, which I would recommend to Survivors.

So Canon Burrows first: parish priest at St Pancras, Ipswich. Burrows was a very close friend of my Irish widowed mother. He was always round our house, doing practical jobs, like rebuilding a fireplace. I was 5 years old when he bought me an expensive cowboy suit, amongst other gifts, and he always referred to me affectionately as ‘The Sheriff’. One wintry afternoon he drove me to a deserted lumber yard down by Ipswich docks where his ancient car broke down and it needed a hand crank start. I can still remember wanting to hit him with that crank handle. Instead, I remember kicking him (a valuable symbolic gesture in retrospect) and then I did a runner. Maybe because he called me ‘The Sheriff’, instead of going home, I went to the police station to report what had happened.  After all, that’s what a Sheriff would do.

I don’t remember the details, but I do recall vividly a kindly and positive response, where the cops made a real fuss of me. A classic Dixon of Dock Green cop brought me a cup of hot chocolate – a beverage I still drink today if I’ve had a shock. The official family story became that ‘I got lost’ and that’s how I ended up at the police station, because the truth was just too difficult for Catholics to deal with. Sadly, I doubt it was High Noon for Burrows – not in those days – but I think he may have been warned off.  Anyway, my experience at the police station was so encouraging, I believe that’s what’s turned me into a life-long whistleblower. They listened to my story and they believed me. That was very rare in the 50s. So I’m still grateful to the boys in blue and that’s why I’m writing this whistle-blowing post today.

The second was Father Harry Wace – he was Chaplain to Canon Burrows. He was from a wealthy military family – his father was a Lieutenant Colonel in a Sikh regiment of the Indian Army. His brother, too, was a priest. According to his obituary, Harry liked to wear dead priests clothes and his dead father’s suits.   As they were the same gender, I guess there’s nothing Norman Bates there. My mother was his housekeeper. So when I was around seven, I followed her around as she made Wace’s bed and folded his pyjamas. His pyjama jacket, casually left out on the unmade bed, was covered in the most amazing metal badges. A collector’s paradise. I was in awe and I can still recall that feeling of really coveting those super-cool badges. They were every young boy’s dream.

Wace was 28 years old at this time. He had been in the Rifle Brigade of the Suffolk Regiment and served in Palestine in the 1940s for two years.  So he was not some immature young Father Dougal from Father Ted.

That pyjama jacket would have been impossible to sleep in, but my mother simply smiled at me as she put his pyjamas away. She was surely a classic example of Stockholm Syndrome, which is how the Catholic Church got away with so much – and still does. They call their denial system – when faced with overwhelming evidence – the highly prized Gift of Faith. You believe in the Church, no matter what. Every Catholic aspires to it.

So then I joined the Catholic Cubs, which was run by Wace. He was Akela and all I can recall visually is a memory of his bare knees and his special Cubmaster grey socks.  The rest is still hazy but I guess he thought that my mother being a widow, I was fair game. But what he didn’t know was that although my legal father was dead, my biological father was still very much alive and would visit us from time to time as a family ‘friend’. He was from a working class background in Dublin and was fond of the notorious ‘Bucky’ – Buckfast Tonic Wine – the ultimate tongue loosener, which is how I knew that he was actually my dad.  So I told my dad – I blew the whistle on Wace – and, to my delight, he paid the priest  ‘a visit.’ I then mysteriously left the Cubs and Wace shortly afterwards left his chaplaincy at St Pancras church.

Filling in the gaps on these minimal details is conjecture but I believe it’s pretty close to the truth. Because, annoyingly, adults rarely tell kids what actually happens on these occasions. But it would certainly not have been a polite middle-class exchange of views! However, dad – under the influence of Bucky – once opened our front door with his shoulder, so I’m convinced he would have dealt with Wace in an appropriately ‘physical’ way. Even though he too was an Irish Catholic, there was no danger of him being affected by Stockholm Syndrome.

And that makes him quite unusual. In the same era, a middle-class dad gave his son a horrific beating for making up ‘terrible lies’ when he complained about the notorious Brother Solomon abusing him. And that was the usual reaction of parents in that time – the child must be punished for being a ‘malicious liar’ in order to protect the corrupt institution and corrupt individual.

What makes me know my dad was different and say this with conviction is the song, ‘Oh! My Papa’,  which was very popular in the 50s. When I listen to that song today, the tears stream down my face, but they are never tears of sadness or loss – which the words usually evoke for most people. (E.G. ‘Deep in my heart, I miss him so today.’). Instead, surprisingly, they are tears of happiness, of joy and celebration! Celebrating what? I’m pretty certain I’m celebrating dad’s visit to Father Wace. Dad may not have shoved a crucifix down Wace’s throat, but I like to think he gave that upper class pervert a good hiding, which he certainly deserved.  ‘Oh, my pa-pa, to me he was so wonderful.’ Thank you, dad.

And lastly we come to Father Jolly – the chaplain at St Joseph’s and my parish priest at St Marks. I would help him paint his yacht moored at Pin Mill, and he took me sailing as a reward. He also took other St Joseph’s pupils on sailing trips.  When he wasn’t buying me wooden clogs – one of several souvenirs he brought back from his visits to 1960s Amsterdam – and loaning me his 1930s super-long skis, he was part of a wider Catholic community of like-minded souls. This involved weekend ‘retreat’ trips away in his Hillman Minx car and I would sometimes accompany him. Once again the details are hazy, but let’s put it this way – I still have a fanatical hatred of Hillman Minx cars, specifically their dashboards, which I’d still like to smash with a hammer. Because when you can’t attack a perpetrator, you displace the anger onto a nearby inanimate object.

But kids’ revenge is sometimes as devious, ingenious, nasty and – most important – deniable as the groomers’ actions themselves, and this needs honouring and recording. So here’s a case in point. A friend of mine, who I’ll call Paul, also knew Jolly very well, disliked him intensely for some mysterious reason, and – in recent years – described to me an incident which I had no knowledge of at the time.

Paul related how he and his friends, all fellow pupils at St Joseph’s,  (not in my class) ‘made a pipe bomb and blew up the remains of an old tree in Father Jolly’s orchard.’

Why?

‘Because we were interested in chemistry.’

(Next time I see Paul I must ask him if Mike Kearney was their teacher – although I doubt their bomb would qualify for his memorial prize.)

So I quizzed Paul further. He and his friends bought all these specialist ingredients to make a bomb. But why choose Father Jolly’s orchard of all places to detonate it?

Paul shrugged his shoulders. ‘I don’t know,’ he said, his sphinx-like face giving nothing away.

Any old boy of St Joseph’s from our era will tell you that Jolly’s orchard was small – it was just a garden, really, overlooked by Jolly’s house – and it was so close to the school that the risk of being caught was high. If you’re going in for crazy chemistry experiments, as kids used to do, there were other places nearby where you could carry them out without any fear of discovery.

I tried interrogating Paul again.  ‘Was Jolly there at the time? What was his reaction to you exploding a bomb near his house?’ I was wasting my breath. I doubt Paul would break, even under waterboarding. He came back with his standard reply whenever I push him too hard for details about his days at  St Joseph’s.

‘It was so long ago, I don’t remember now,’ he said, his face a picture of complete innocence.

Fair enough. So I’ve filled in the blanks myself, and a fictional version features in my novel ‘Serial Killer’. Doubtless you can reach your own conclusions.

Bottom line on all this?  Kids do hit back in their own unique ways and we need to remember their victories over the priests, teachers and De La Salle brothers in Ipswich, cowards who have otherwise largely escaped justice.

This is because of a Catholic Diocese that has shown zero interest in historic crimes by its priests. Instead, it does a Pontius Pilate and refers them to the police, which is all too often wasting valuable police time as the crimes are historic and, invariably, there’s nothing the police can do. But they still have to look at every case passed to them. I’ve personally found the police as supportive today as when I was six years old.

In a similar way, the De La Salle brothers are still going strong, but the organisation also ignores the numerous historic crimes its order are notorious for. Unless they’re fetched. Then, of course, they will wring their hands with expressions of regret which I doubt fools anyone, including themselves. 

Meanwhile, St Joseph’s maintains its links with its past  (e.g.  a sadistic teacher like Kearney. See an earlier post), but otherwise does a complete Pontius Pilate while at the same time proudly proclaiming that it is ‘In the La Sallian Tradition’.

Which particular aspect of the tradition would that be?  As a Survivor, that means something quite negative and disturbing to me.

Yet the reaction of Catholic authority is hardly surprising when the Pope, their leader is caught lying on camera. He is clearly telling Catholic perpetrators: ‘It’s okay to lie. I’m on your side.’ Stockholm Syndrome, cognitive dissonance, or whatever you choose to call it, is still as potent today as it ever was.

But we don’t have to always talk about all this in sad, hushed tones as stereotypically represented in the media. These sick individuals, when they’re still alive, probably enjoy that because it means they still have the power and power is ultimately what all this is about.  Especially when – as the facts have shown time and again – they’re still protected by their Pope, despite his phoney words to the contrary.

Naming and shaming them is one way of us taking back our power and I’m looking forward to doing more of the same shortly. There are other ways, too – like suing them or their organisation or having abusers arrested and banged up before they can plead senility. If you’re a Survivor, whichever path you decide to take, I wish you luck and can assure you it will be worth it. 

Because you’re fighting back.

Boys Town

Thanks for the latest, Opus. I really enjoyed reading your recollections.

I know Homan started a Boys Town in India, so it must be the same one.  https://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/apr/12/joe-homan-obituary

I’ve read a most  disturbing account of his conduct at St J’s – think it was at Oak Hill. And also accounts by an investigative journalist linking him to a Body Shop scandal. Cheap labour and worse. I keep meaning to write to the journalist to ask for confirmation on a couple of points.  I also believe that’s where the notorious Brother Solomon headed one time.
So I was disappointed to read fellow old boy Chris Mullin singing Homan’s praises in The Guardian, especially as i’m a huge fan of Chris’s novel and film, A Very British Coup.
I believe these days, if someone said they were going to set up a ‘Boys Town’, they’d be locked up. Thus there was a very recent case of a paedophile who was one of the founders of  ‘Street Kids International.’
I think I remember seeing Lawrence of Arabia with the school and the Brothers flinching at some of the scenes. There was an implied rape – that could have been it.  They also flinched and blushed when they took us to see Guns of Navarone and a woman’s naked back was revealed. Understandable – all these kids watching them for signs of human weakness. The pressure must have been terrible!

 

–Pat

Pat,

Whether my memories are correct or even materially fair (and I obviously think they are) is something I cannot judge.

I thought then that you might appreciate on perhaps a largely lighter note though not unsexually related my further reminiscences:

1. The new chapel had just been completed and was shortly be opened. On a morning on exiting from the dormitories, was, to be seen flying high from its spire, a pair of knickers. How the roof of the chapel was ascended (and descended without injury) and who was responsible for the prank and indeed from where the pair of knickers had been obtained remained a mystery.

2. Aside from being Head Master, Elwin Gerard was, when I was about fifteen in charge of the dormitories in the main house which was where I then resided. In a room on the ground floor was a monochrome television set and chairs for viewing. It being a Saturday night we would crowd into the room to watch whatever the BBC were providing by way of entertainment. On the occasion in question the Beeb had imported in from the United States a light entertainment series featuring the comic actor and singer Mr Danny Kaye. Some way through the show came what would surely turn out to be a comic sketch: it commenced with the camera tracking the back of a woman with long blonde hair and the accompanying music was of the type associated with strippers. The woman’s back was bare. Elwin Gerard who was watching with us promptly jumped up and switched off the television set ordering us all to bed. I will thus never know what the joke was for surely a joke which I would long have forgotten was coming and had Elwin Gerard not been so hasty I think we would have discovered that the woman was a man, Kaye himself.

3. At a time when Lawrence of Arabia was a justly popular film a White Father who was the brother of one of the monks (John?) visited the school, talked about his work in North Africa and to our great delight demonstrated how he put on his arab-style robes. I was told decades later that he was later convicted of indecent assault upon his charges whilst in India at a place known as Boys Town. Would that be right?

4. My little brother was at Oak Hill from the age of just nine commencing at the beginning of the autumn term. When he returned at Xmas my Mother said (later) that she no longer recognised him as the same happy-go-lucky little boy whom she had sent off some three months earlier.

5. I was a boomer and that meant that at that time there was by reason of increased birth-rates pressure on places in schools and thus schools could become a law unto themselves. It was also the case that the La Salles were not able to recruit sufficient men to their order and thus appear to have taken any man who was willing to join them. Certainly the calibre of many of the monks – as teachers – left much to be desired. From my point of view this was to the good such that by the time I reached the dizzy heights of the sixth-form none of my teachers were monks and (I was also studying outside the school and thus was semi-detached from it) a majority of my teachers were not even Roman Catholics. To a large extent then the Brothers faded out of my life for apart from being in Ipswich a fair amount of the week I ended my career at Birkfield living in the little lodge by its entrance where we were without any form of supervision. Neither being a Prefect nor playing in team sports (I never took to Rugby and became bored by Cricket) and by reason of one task I performed happily from the age of fourteen until I left and which gained me access daily to the lay-Master’s Common Room such that I had a good relationship with them I was by then left to my own devices.

–Opus

Magnum Opus

Thanks for the latest, Opus.

You have such great and detailed memories, I hope you won’t mind me putting them in their own blog post. I believe in full transparency, something I was personally denied as a kid by the Catholic system. So fire away without risk of censorship.

Everyone’s experience is different and, just as I have no doubt your recollections are true, I think you might assume that the recollections of others, including myself, are also true. Many of us haven’t met since school days yet our recollections dovetail with each other. And what would we possibly gain by lying or exaggerating? You only have to look at the number of De La Salle Brothers who have faced the courts for abuse to see it’s most unlikely we are fantasising or guilty of misandry. Brothers like Solomon (who you’d have missed) were so notorious there are endless accounts of him as an abuser, including when he returned as a lay teacher after your time. Thanks to Solomon I have a deep love of classical music, but – as a day boy – I luckily escaped his predations.

Like you, I have positive memories of Brother James as a maths teacher. I was so thick where maths were concerned, but he knew how to get through to dense kids like me. I admired his zeal, too, as you describe below. I think I saw him as a kind of role model, even a father figure. But there was another darker side to him, not just his well-known psychotic anger. This darker side also needs recording – particularly for those of us who experienced it.

So many survivors suppress their truth and could be discouraged to come forward by scepticism such as in your posts. I hope not. Only by acknowledging the truth does it set us free.

I notice from your previous post and this one that you’re personally very critical of Brother Elwin. I wish i could remember him better – rimless square glasses, looked like an intellectual, rather aloof? It feels like you were personally ‘burned’ by him, just as other old boys were burned by other brothers.

Because nothing awful happened to you or people you knew, doesn’t mean it couldn’t possibly happen to others. Predators often go for kids who are vulnerable in some way. That may be why you escaped and others didn’t.

I think this site and others like it are a valuable catharsis for survivors. I know this to be true from their responses to me in private e-mails. Most of the brothers are now dead or infirm, but the terrible damage they caused lives on in the survivors and this site provides a useful outlet for our anger, pain and grief.

Judging by recent private correspondence with old boys, I suspect there is much worse to come from other survivors.

At school many of us were forced to keep our mouths shut about what was really going, I certainly was. This site is a way for us all to speak out to ensure the DLS Brothers’ past crimes are well known.

However, I realise there’s also a positive and human side to many of them who, like you, I admired and this is worth noting too. So do please carry on with your critique.

–Pat Mills

The proprietor of this blog having kindly published my above and not altogether in agreement with the tenor of this blog comment and I having had the opportunity to re-read the various comments on this and other threads thought that I might trusting not to try his patience too much make a few further comments which I trust might be of general interest:

1. My own late little brother who left some lengthy autobiographical writings and who attended both Oak Hill and Birkfield as a border does not once mention violence or sexual behaviour by the monks although when as a nine-year-old he broke his collar bone whilst skating during the long winter of ’63 and doing so where he was not supposed to skate he was in mortal fear of their anger: For twenty four hours yet in great pain he failed to seek medical help for his injury and his injury only came to light when some other boy went to the monks. My parents should have sued the order in Tort for negligence but they came from a generation where any person in a position of authority was seen as beyond criticism. My brother does write that once in an Ipswich cinema a stranger (male) attempted to touch him-up. I am certain that had my brother been aware of inappropriate monk behaviour he would have written of it.

2. I refer to Brother Kevin who first taught me some French (the language, I mean). Once aged eleven or twelve I managed to overturn a desk on to my right foot exacerbating a previous injury to my middle toe. I am not sure why i did not attend sick-bay but he assisted me in his room in the 55 wing (which I do not recall as having any visual access to the dormitories – it being across the corridor). He having patched my foot and far from cross with me as he might have been for my foolishness lent me his right bedroom slipper, my own right shoe now being too small given the bandaging to my foot. He asked that I return the slipper in due course. I never did yet I do not know why i did not do so.

3. In the Sixth form I sat next to a boy whom I will not name but with whom I became friends and who joined the school following his expulsion from another local school. He did not and would not give the reason for the expulsion. We all of course assumed what that reason must have been. Is this not to the credit of the La Salles?

4. The school was very violent, yet most violence was boy on boy and it was other boys – bigger, older – that terrified me (as an eleven year old) far more than the monks. Whether it was any different from other schools I cannot say.

5. In my year there were two boys loathed and detested by the remainder of us – they should have been expelled. Both were predatory homosexuals – and I do not for one second believe that propensity was caused by the monks. As a result they were on the receiving end of boy violence. A third boy who I also much disliked was I learnt much later of the same persuasion.

6. In the media, Headmasters can do no wrong yet in the early 1970s a couple of the Dailies (the Mail and Express, I think) ran articles criticising Elwin Gerard. He, of course, doubled-down and having the support of the order ignored the criticism. I forget what it was that had incensed the press. Haircuts?

7. A year younger than me was a boy by the name of George Phillips. He was likable, slightly overweight and had just passed eleven O’levels and as such was a shoe-in for Oxbridge and probably also Head Boy. One day at the beginning of term Elwin Gerard passing him ordered Phillips to get a haircut – not that his hair was in any sense long. Phillips refused and on the spot Phillips was expelled. I appreciate that a head master can not allow his authority to be treated lightly but this was stupidity on the part of Elwin Gerard – especially as Phillips was his star pupil. Happily for him Phillips had the support of his parents who he explained to me were increasingly concerned about Elwin Gerard’s running of the school. St Joseph’s loss would have been the gain of some Six-form academy.

8. One day Elwin Gerard came into class somewhat speechless and informed us that he had just interviewed the mother of a boy named Masters and that the said mother had then accused Elwin Gerard of sexually assaulting her. None of us boys believed such an obviously insane accusation.

9. The regrettable arrival of girls at the school also produced a Nun and this nun seemed to spend inordinate amounts of time in the physics Lab with a monk – Cecil?. Were they? We thought so. On the arrival of the first batch of four girls it was only a day or so before one of the four girls found her way predictably down to one of the lodges which of course was out of bounds for females. The boys who slept there were of course blamed. I blame firstly the La Salle’s for their stupidity and secondly the girl – not the boys, the La Salle’s blaming the boys for the free actions of the strong and empowered girl.

10. I refer again to Brother James; he was my first form master. It is said elsewhere here that the monks did not care for black people. I beg to disagree: I will never forget (to cut a long story short) how in consecutive weeks I parted with my entire pocket money at James’ suggestion and encouragement (doubtless following yet another blue testimonial) for the black babies. One can never ask for change when giving charity and being shamed by James (in front of the entire class) for meanness was something I wished to avoid. In the third week when again encouraged to give reparations to the Africans I sat on my hands and have since that time avoided all forms of charitable giving. My parents did not pay my pocket money just so that it could be given away!

11. On the subject of money a perusal of the appropriate school magazine will reveal Elwin Gerard (at speech day) berating parents for not yet having purchased his new school uniform and where he implies that all parents are rolling in money as if money grows on trees. I think that revealing as to the true attitude of the (unpaid of course) La Salle monks. Catholicism frequently looks much like Marxism – an ideology of envy. My parents and especially my mother went without for the sake of what passed for my education whilst wrecking the family’s finances.

12. In one of his nightly exhortations – we were then about fifteen years of age – to us standing on and around the Birkfield staircase we were informed as usual that although we were irredeemably bad and hell bound that had we any complaint or information of which the head master should be aware it was our duty to report the matter to him. Some days later I led a deputation of boys to Elwin Gerard as some matter I now long forget was I felt of sufficient importance that it needed to be reported. They always shoot the messenger do they not and on explaining myself to Elwin Gerard I was irate-ably dismissed and informed to stop causing trouble. The hypocrite!

Men are leaving the teaching profession in droves as boys are feminised. Is not the attack on the :La Salle brothers whatever their failings just thinly disguised Misandry?

–Opus

 

BROTHER JAMES – A Survivor’s Story

Pleasure is to mingle with study, that the boy may think learning rather an amusement than a toil. Tender youth is to suffer neither severe thrashings nor sour and threatening looks, nor any kind of tyranny, for by such usage the fire of genius is either extinguished or in great measure damped.

Cardinal Thomas Wolsey 1473-1530

 

This is an account by an old boy of St Joseph’s College, Birkfield, Ipswich, Suffolk, UK, of an assault by Brother James Ryan, De La Salle Brother, and “Prefect of Discipline”.

It is not an isolated attack on a child. There are numerous accounts of Brother James’s crimes recorded earlier on this blog. Primarily physical assaults and one further sexual assault.

 

This one has me tonight in all its horrible glory. I spent years of therapy with a psychologist with CASA here (Centre for sexual assault). Many breakthroughs were made, but not this one. This has got me by the balls at the moment.

What I am going to do is sit here and write it down and get it right in my head. I know from experience that to get it out of your head onto paper is half the battle. Then there has to be some form of forgiveness and I am not religious.

The other way these things manifest themselves is in a physical way. I have a rotten back and remembering this sort of trauma just sends it into spasm causing horrendous pain.

It may help you and others and me, of course.

I have been through so much of this shit over the last two or three years with this Australian Royal Commission and the press throwing it out on a daily basis. I have not been involved in it, but it is really in your face all the time and I do have friends that are in it. Fortunately I have great friends and support and that works both ways. My partner hates me going through this but she has agreed to do the editing etc., meanwhile stating that she won’t like it but she will do it for me to make sense for everyone.

Sexual abuse comes in many forms and with sadism it makes it a lot worst. As we put it out here, “he was a fair bloody bastard”. (I love this country with swearing as part of the culture) Just after I left St Joes there were two teachers from Ipswich School Prep charged and convicted. They did not have the protection of Holy Orders. Head Master Mermigan did have some good points it seems. Both my older brothers went through similar violence at Ipswich School and put it down to post traumatic stress syndrome.

I am not so sure, I think that the worst of these predators joined priesthood or orders so that they could live out their sickness. They may have had their networks as well.

I was 16 when I went to sea and there I met equally violent ones, even worse because, as junior ratings, we ranged in age from 13 1/2 to 18. The nastiest bastard was an ex brother of some sort, he was Irish and hard, very dangerous. Petty bullies at best, dangerous at worst. It was bad but we were allowed to fight back.

Enough said of the side tracking because I have a bit of work to do and it doesn’t come easily to me.

I was very disruptive in class, which is a sure sign of someone crying out for help and safety, how the hell I survived, I have no idea. Many will remember me like that and that is fair enough. I hope I didn’t mess their education up too much. If I did I am sorry.

I do not resemble the person I was before. I am positive and happy (most of the time) but I always remember that to not deal with this stuff as it comes up can open the floodgates to all the negativity and swamp me to drowning point. Thanks for being there and co-ordinating peoples chances at recovery.

I was to be beaten, for what I do not remember. I think it was to be four with the cane. He did not go about this with his usual out of control. This was calculated for maximum effect. This was a new one. He told me he would beat me in three or four days’ time. Good terror tactic in his sadistic mind.

The day came and I think it was lunch time and he called me into the hall. He locked the door and led me to one corner well out of any possible chance sighting of anyone who could possibly see in. He told me to take my trousers down and bend over to touch my toes. I didn’t take my underpants off and he started to get a bit nasty and made me take those down as well. He was very controlled after that. He was breathing heavily. I was told that on no account was I to turn round at any time or he would increase the punishment. This guy was lethal with a cane when you had clothes on.

The first stroke was full swing but the next stroke did not come for an eon, one or two minutes. I made the mistake of looking round. He lost it a bit and the next one was harder and with the threat of additional strokes. He was breathing very heavily and I realized he was masturbating between strokes through the pocket in his cassock. He really took his time. I don’t remember whether it was nine or more. I was in agony.

When it was over I was threatened that if I ever told anyone he would make my life more of a misery than it already was.

He was also smiling in a way that I had not seen before.

There may have been more like this but I hope there were not.

I remembered the beating but not the rest until reading some of the blog. It’s funny what things jog your memory. Like most survivors of sexual assault, you know that something is there but I could never get at what it was.

This happened to me in another assault. When I was finally told about it I instantly remembered the incident vividly. I remembered what was said and by whom and I was very young at the time. It was as if I was marked as fair game after that. People like James can pick it in a child. That closed the book on another phase of my life. It was as if all the cogs finally slotted into position—-for a while. I didn’t know about others at school and they not about me. There were rumours.

My lovely partner asks me why I have to keep digging and not let the past be past and move on. She sees what it can do to me and she has to watch as I consume myself, hoping that I can pull out of it, which sometimes I only do by the skin of my teeth. She supports me and puts up with it maybe understanding or not. She has that gift of character that enables her to move on and I love her for it.

I hope to God that there is not more. I enjoy life and I really don’t need this shit but if me putting this down can help me it might also help others. We have lived with this long enough. It is time to deal with it and move on. I am not religious in the sense of organized dogma and cultism but I firmly believe that there is some greater purpose to human existence. What it is, I have no bloody idea. Each to his own. South Africa and Rwanda have given us a lesson saying that forgiveness of some kind will enable us to be alive again. I find that hard but it is something to work on.

I am alive unlike many who were unable to live with it.

BROTHER JAMES: CONFIRMATION DAY

Here’s another astonishing account of the past barbarism at St Joseph’s, the crimes and the cover-ups which the school – because it says it’s in the same Lasallian tradition – the DLS Brothers still have to acknowledge to survivors.

It’s from an old boy at St Joseph’s, now living in Australia. Thank you, Dave, for sharing this with us. I suspect many more survivors’ accounts will now follow.

It’s particularly relevant for me, because I’ve known for a very long time that Brother James was also a sexual abuser, and a serious and violent one, and your letter below confirms it. I hesitated to say so before because my recollection is distant and somewhat blocked. A friend who is a social worker wrote that “In her considerable experience in various social work spheres […] where there is physical abuse one should always look for sexual abuse because the correlation between the two is very strong.”  So James’s unusual and actually hysterical violence may well be relevant.

I don’t have any problem talking about this because these criminals need to be exposed, even if they’re dead, because their organisation is still around and in denial and there may well be other victims of James’s sexual abuse who have been reluctant to talk, or used blocking techniques as I did. I do believe it empowers us all and gives us closure. And it may be useful for anyone who wants to pursue the order legally. If so, I think you may need to hurry because there’s so many charges against them now, the Brothers must be running out of cash. Personally, I’d settle for an apology, but I’m not holding my breath. Hence my alternative: The Roll of Dishonour, where “Their Shame Liveth Forevermore”.

For now, my recollection is as follows. Myself and my best friend GB, when we were around 12, went up to St Joe’s during the summer holidays to do some work, and were rewarded with the keys to the soft drinks cupboard (in the main seniors building) and told to help ourselves. Old boys will know there was the entry door and, I believe, an external hatch to dispense drinks to kids outside. (This was a separate set-up to the regular tuck shop). So we were in there swigging endless bottles of Tizer when an “agitated” – or should that be “excited” ?-  James burst in, and there was no way out.

I’m not in the same league as the impressive American old boy (LM) described below, but it’s not in my nature to let things go until I get justice, as readers of this blog will know, and I’m pretty sure that’s what I was like back then. So I complained about the assault and it was hushed up in some way. Annoyingly, that’s almost certainly why I can’t remember much today. That’s how these criminals got away with so much.

That must sounds odd to outsiders, so I think it’s relevant to say more. Not least because I now know of two old boys of St Joe’s who are in the process of recovering their memories. It can be tough, but it’s something I’ve had to become something of an expert on, so any leads or help I can give you, do say.

When my wife, Lisa, read the incredible account below where “a few dozen boys” watched cheering as James was beaten up by a school boy, she said, “Why has everyone forgotten this? It must have gone round the whole school at the time? How could that possibly have been kept a secret? They couldn’t shut everyone up, could they?”

Oh, yes, they could.

Catholic schools are not like normal schools.

It’s how cults work. Whether it’s Scientology or the Catholic Church or the DLS brothers, cults operate on secrecy and we all seem to suffer from collective amnesia or at least dimmed memories as a result. It can turn us into sleepwalkers, heading through life in disassociated dreams. It’s achieved through fear, loyalty, lack of parental support, no Childline, no adults who would believe them and more. The DLS brothers know that anyone who talks or complains will be dealt with severely. We were all used to keep our mouths shut, just as the victims of Savile kept their mouths shut.

I’ve no doubt that events unfolded in the way Dave describes them. I’ve been a participant and an organizer of events that have taken on some embodiment of the status quo or some aspect of oppressive authority. I know just what that feeling is like when there’s a “slave uprising” and bullies are finally confronted, or perpetrators of injustice or abuse dealt with. Whatever age we are, there’s a loss of control, a release of pent-up energy that’s intoxicating and a sense of “to hell with the consequences”. It’s like the scene in Network: “I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take this anymore.” I’m sure that’s what happened that day.

In view of what the DLS brothers subsequently did to LM – his leaving/expulsion while James was allowed to stay, his crimes known but concealed, they are lower than vermin.

If anyone wants to elaborate on James, privately with me, or on this blog, please do so. I look forward to hearing from you. I’m happy to go into more detail, if it’s useful to anyone. It may also be useful to me because, in order to make sense of what happened, I have to understand the psychotic nature of James and his modus operandi. I’m sure the assault wasn’t a one-off and he was a serial abuser.

I wish I’d been there to cheer LM on. He’s a shining example to us all.

Thanks again, Dave. You’re a star.

Hi Pat,

My name is Dave B. I have been reading your St Joe’s blog for several years but I didn’t have the courage to get involved. I first picked it up On the Crystal Palace blog site. I am the same age as you and was at Oakhill and then Birkfield. Before I went to Oakhill I was at Ipswich School Prep and that was bad as well. There again I was no model student. I left on April 8 1965,(I was kept back a couple of years) only to be thrown into another lions den in the merchant navy.

We must have been there at the same time. I was so badly treated there by all of the brothers mentioned. In my second last year I was beaten every day, even after being sick for 2 weeks. I also boarded for a short time. Brother James was not only brutal but I can confirm also a pervert into sexual abuse. I have one wonderful memory, that of an American kid from the bronx. James wanted to beat him and L.M. the student (who is now a prominent US human law rights Lawyer). At the end of the class we were all thrown out of class. B. James did his usual attack of kicking and punching. LM beat the sh….out of James with a few dozen boys watching and cheering.

The result was that we never saw LM again and the Brother director was changed and there was no corporal punishment allowed in the school. Lt.Commander Mclaughlin (sp?) was made school prefect and the only one who could dish out punishment. I felt stunned with no fear at school. However, I left in the second term and the new Brother director died, the school returned to its normal reign of terror, but I was long gone by then fighting for my existence in the merch.

McLaughlin was very kind to me, he offered to tute me in maths with his son at home. For me then it was too late and I declined sadly. I am still lousy at maths. He and Bill Moss were the only two people I respected. I can go on forever on this subject. Bill Moss’s brothers suffered the same as us. I agree wholeheartedly with Martin.

Currently this subject is in the news in Australia every day with the Royal Commission into Child Abuse and it is very difficult to keep an even keel but I have had a few years of counselling and support.

It would be “nice” if the De La Salle order would admit the goings on and apologise but I don’t think it will ever happen. Here In Aus it is happening them being exposed by the Royal Commission. It doesn’t stop the suicides though. I hope you get your own Royal commission.

We must move on regardless. This can go on the blog, but I can’t seem to do it from here. Maybe its the current Ransom virus. Let me know how to get onto the blog if you can.

Regards

Dave

EDIT: Dave subsequently sent me this:

I lived in a constant state of terror both at home and school. School was the worst though. My way of coping became John Barleycorn which got me thrown out of the under 16’s. If it all got too much at school I would find a quiet corner somewhere and take the edge off life. It ended up causing problems for me and other around me but I have been free of it for many years now. How the hell did we all cope and some of us survive.

I’m so sorry, Dave.

In response to this email, another old boy confirmed events in private correspondence with me, and named the American hero with an impressive Italian surname. I’ll just use his first name “Louis” here. This old boy had mentioned Louis to me before. Here we go:

LM is Louis M – . We’ve already written about this guy. He’s the ‘You think you’re hot shit on a silver dish but you’re just cold piss in a paper cup’ kid. I don’t know about his Bronx origins but, when he was trying to get his younger brother to give him some cash because he was spent up, the youngster exclaimed, ‘Good God, Louis, what do you do with it all!’ in what I would now describe as a New York accent…Louis was in a year lower than you and me but he didn’t start off as a first year pupil; he came to the school later. I do remember that he and I were quite good friends and often hung around in the same little group.

I believe there was, as Dave recalls, some kind of incident between Louis and Jammy. I never saw it and have not thought about since I left school. I have a vague recollection of ‘something’ being whispered about but I expect all witnesses were somehow forced to remain silent. I can’t verify that. Certainly, Louis was there one minute and gone the next without warning. I think my memory centres on the aftermath of the event and the rumours about why Louis left Birkfield. I think his little brother must have left at the same time but I’m not certain of this.

Dave says a result of this incident was the changing of a Brother Director. I think that must have been the arrival of Bro. Elwin Gerard. I can’t say that he replaced the previous Bro. Director because of the fracas and I wonder how Dave knows this. When Dave left in April 1965, I was in my second term of the 5th form. Were you still at Birkfield at that point?

I had left a year before, under somewhat mysterious circumstances, another puzzle in itself, as another old boy reminded me recently, maybe something I’ll return to another time.

I like to think that just before Louis gave James what he so richly deserved he said to him in his best Bronx Accent, ‘You think you’re hot shit on a silver dish but you’re just cold piss in a paper cup’.

It raises the question, what was wrong with James and other abusive teachers at St Joes?

Old boy “Anon” believes:

My theory is that half the teachers came back from WW2 with PTSD, took it out on boys who went off to Uni to become teachers and returned to take it out on us. That combined with a good dose of Catholic cover up.

I think it applies to his generation at St J’s. Certainly at my Catholic primary school St Mary’s Ipswich, where the deputy Headmaster, Crowley, chain-smoked in class and caned a boy across the face and once sexually assaulted a school girl in front of us. (The school was run by nuns who, of course, allowed him to get away with it and committed worse crimes themselves.) But actually the lay teachers of my era at St Joes seemed pretty normal, some of them – the Polish art teacher for example who clearly had military training – was one of the most well balanced, nicest people I’ve met. I have positive memories of nearly all of the lay teachers. In my era, they were just regular, normal guys.

The sickness seems to apply to the Brothers who had mostly escaped the war and I believe it’s specifically Catholic in nature. My recollection of reading James’s obituary (before the DLSB took it down from their site) is he was a product of the DLS school system himself. I doubt he suffered PTSD in the war. He may well have suffered PTSD as a result of whatever happened in his youth. I know from a source who went to a Catholic seminary that the attitude was: “They did it to us, so now it’s our turn to do it to others.” It was why he left the seminary in disgust. That confirms Anon’s theory.

But I don’t think James has any excuse. He should have ended his days in prison or a hospital for the criminally insane.

IN THE LASALLIAN TRADITION 2

“Brother Solomon, however, was a completely different incarnation of evil. He was a person of unmitigated perversion.”

 

I feel it’s time to write a new post, based on a recent comment on my January 2016 post IN THE LASALLIAN TRADITION.

IN THE LASALLIAN TRADITION was created from a comment on my ‘About’ page from Martin Hunt about the institutional violence and sexual abuse that was experienced by many boys at my school, St Joseph’s College in Ipswich, Suffolk.

I was very touched to read this account from my classmate at St. Joseph’s, Damian Moss, sent via his friend Rob Buckley about the abuse by the Christian Brothers. Damian sums it up so well.  My reply to him follows after.

“In the time it took me to read this email and the accompanying links I was immediately transported back to that dark place masquerading as an educational institution.
I have an uncomfortable feeling that I was that thirteen year boy described so graphically by Pat Mills.His description of Brother James was so chillingly accurate that it revived memories long forgotten. He and I fought a running battle over a two year period mostly involving my determination to flout school rules and his equally determined passion to uphold the rule of law. It culminated with the pair of us grappling on the ground for some article of clothing- if my memory serves me correctly, I think it was my beloved beatle boots with the two inch cuban heels! Soon after this incident I was deemed unmanageable and shipped off to Beulah Hill to continue my ordeal at the thankfully metaphorical hands of the De La Salle Order.
Brother James in all honesty was a figure of tragic pity. He was inadequate, unloved, deeply frustrated and a raging sado-masochist. Apart from that, he was you’re standard issue christian brother.

Brother Solomon, however, was a completely different incarnation of evil. He was a person of unmitigated perversion. After arriving at Beulah from De La Salle rehab camp he was appointed Head of Boarders in 1964. He was immediately placed in a position where he could continue his abuse of young, vulnerable, sensitive boys in his care/charge. His profile was that of a classic paedophile. He was able to carefully select his victims and groom them over a period of time to gain their trust and confidence before subjecting them to his unspeakable depravity. He was known among other things as the ‘ bugger meister’. He had a malevolent, brooding presence, and was the essence of pure evil. His track record was littered with scores of damaged individuals who just happened to be young , impressionable, and manipulable at the wrong time in their lives.
Thankfully, by the time I arrived at Beulah Hill I was too old and rebellious to be groomed for anything other than immediate expulsion!! He left a frightening legacy of destroyed youthful minds and bodies. Sometimes we need to remember lest we forget such depravity.”

I was aware of and personally inspired by his rebellious nature. Anyone who wore two inch cuban heels at St. Joseph’s, with its ultra-strict dress code, was definitely a rebel! Most of us were too scared and intimidated by these violent, cruel, black-clad fanatics to stand up to them. This was certainly the case for me – my defiance had already been partly knocked out of me at my Catholic primary school, St. Mary’s. Another old boy from St. Mary’s recently reminded me how I regularly challenged the status quo there. Then the nun headmistress – a Mother Theresa lookalike – got me by the throat and squeezed it as she warned me not to repeat my ‘wicked lies’ about the predatory paedophile priests who were endemic in our Catholic community. I really though she was going to kill me. So I had learnt – like so many other Catholic boys – to be silent about injustice by the time I got to St J’s.
But I recall, as if it were yesterday, Damian’s passive resistance to Brother James (the teacher who was my role model for Judge Dredd). As James entered the classroom, Damian very slowly looked up from rummaging in the depths of his desk and gave James a subtle, but unmistakeable knowing look of disdain. In fact, he may not even have bothered to look up, it could have just been his sullen but eloquent body language that incited James’s subsequent psychotic episode. Even from my desk, some distance away, the message Damian’s back was sending out was clear and James got it. ‘Psychotic episode’ is the only phrase to describe the demented and unwarranted beating that ensued and which still angers and upsets me today, perhaps because I feel we should all of us, as a class, intervened en masse, protected our class mate and stopped that maniac.
I’ve discussed it with another old boy and he’s described James having similar outbursts of uncontrollable rage. The fact that the De La Salle order have not acknowledged and expressed regret for the crimes of James and Solomon is a black mark against them which will not go away until they do. I shall certainly be writing about James and Solomon again and drawing their well-documented crimes to people’s attention. So much for St Joseph’s current regime’s proud claim that they are “in the Lasallian Tradition”. Damian’s courage needs applauding. It’s St. Joseph’s old boys like him we need to remember with pride today – “a rebel who fought Judge Dredd”. He is a fine example to us all.

CLASSIC 2000AD REVIEW FROM MICK FARREN

I recently read a great original review of 2000AD by the legendary Mick Farren.  Many thanks to Colin Smith for tweeting about it, and to Paul Smith (@compu73E) for retweeting it to me.  Yes, there was a lot of tweeting going on… Continue reading